مهما تُخفيه تُظهره الأيام

Now that everything is revealed, I am much relieved ...

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There is nothing to be scared of .... Nothing happened, "Goose Fraba"....

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I am brave ... I don't care, they don't exist anymore in my life ..... "chow" ......

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What is the WORST thing that could happen ?? X ?? I am more than ready, I have never been this ready before.... I shall accept anything.... I am waiting ...

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Why am I afraid of losing something I never obtained in the first place? Who said that it was going to be mine ??

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I always hoped but now I am certain that they deserve someone better.... I shall step out silently with the least possible damages .... I know how it feels, but it's not up to me ....

I thought things would change, they just never do .... Changes are momentary and things just keep on going back to what they were .... As the origin was bad, how could the copy be better?

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I have to accept all the possible consequences of my mistakes (or of others initial mistakes)....

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What I have been through all my life was because what they did many years back, you think I am ready to repeat their mistake? Of course NOT, I am not ready to make anyone suffer because of me ..... I was born to be "like that" and

shall remain "like that"

forever.. This is my written fate, I just know it and am adapting ....

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Why are they blaming me for a mistake they were the cause of ?? Who told them that I am responsible for what they started off with ?? Will things continue to be the same forever ?? Will my fate ever change ?? Why does life keep me if it hates me so much ?? Who told it that I want to stay ??

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Why do they think that they have the right ?? I can make my own decisions and they don't have to be even 1% correct..... How will I ever learn if I don't make catastrophes?? I am growing, so I have to TASTE and TEST things ... Tasting pain was never easy and testing fire was never comforting ....

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فجأة ندمتوا وعاوزين تبقوا جزء من حياتي ؟؟ هو مين كان السبب ؟؟

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ربنا أرحم عليا منكم ... هتعملوا لي إيه لو ربنا قال لأ ؟؟؟ حد يقدر يعارض ربنا ؟؟؟ هو أحن عليا منكم وهيرحمني مهما حصل ومهما كان ومهما عملت إن شاء الله ... ياما نجاني وانتم ما كنتوش موجودين ... ياما ساعدني وانتم كنتم غفلانين ... ياما كان معايا وانتم كنتم بعيدين ... تعرفوا يعني إيه ربنا ؟؟ ربنا، اللــــــــــــــــــــــه ....

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حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عِيسَى عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي الْجَعْدِ عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ قَالَ، قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ((( إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُحْرَمُ الرِّزْق بِالذَّنْبِ يُصِيبُهُ وَلَا يَرُدُّ الْقَدَرَ إِلَّا الدُّعَاءُ وَلَا يَزِيدُ فِي الْعُمُرِ إِلَّا الْبِرُّ)))

يااااه، القدر ممكن يترد ؟؟؟ بس الدعاء بيتصارع مع القدر بين السماء والأرض وأيهما أقوى، هو اللي هيغلب .. أنا حاسة إن قدري طول عمره كان أقوى من دعائي، مش عارفة أقويه إزاي ؟؟؟ جوانب سليمة أوي وجوانب مغبرة وصادمة .....

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قال عليه الصلاة والسلام: (( إن روح القدس نفث في روعي أنه لن تموت نفس حتى تستكمل رزقها وأجلها، فأجملوا في الطلب ولا يحملنكم استبطاء الرزق على أن تطلبوه بمعصية الله فإن ما عند الله لا ينال إلا بطاعته. ))

ما عند الله لا يُنال إلا بطاعته .... سامعة ؟؟