سأنتظر....... ء

قمت بكتابته ليلة إمتحان الكونترول أعاذنا الله منه ........ ء

سأنتظر رجوعك يا حُبي *** من المجهول ِ إلى درب ِ حياتي

فأنا بدونك أعشقُ الحُزن َ *** وأتمنى أن تحين وفاتي

وأنا فضلتُ الموت َ عنْ رحيلك *** فأخذتُ أنحت في الدُجى تابوتي

وأظلُ أصنعُ بالدموع ِ مِداداً *** لأكتُب لك أعذب الكلمات ِ

وربما جفت دموعي، فسكبتُ *** من دمي على هذه الورقات ِ

أواهُ يا قلبي الحزين !! أما *** شبعت من ذرف ِ العَبَرات ِ ؟؟؟

آه ِ يا قلبي المسكين، طعنت *** ب " الوداع " من حبيب ِ حياتي

حائرٌ أنتَ في دُنيا الأحقاد *** وتُهدى بأخبث الابتسامات ِ

رحَل الذي كانَ يحميكَ بحُبِه ِ *** ويزيل عن خُطاك َ العَثَرات ِ

ذهب من تعرِفُ الناسَ أنك *** أفضلُ ما حَدَثَ لهُ في الحياة ِ

تركَكَ وحيداً تتخبطُ في *** ألآم ِ الحياة ِ ساعة ً تِلوَ الساعات ِ

بالأمس ِ أضاءَ ظلامَ كَونِكَ *** واليومَ أرى نهارَكَ سَيدُ الظُلُمات ِ

بعدَ الرَحيل ِ توقَفَتْ أفراحي *** وانطفأت في داخلي الشمعات ِ

بعدَ الفُراق ِ تحطَمَتْ أحلامي *** وتكاثَرَتْ في قلبي الآهات ِ

ما عُدتُ أعرِفُ للسعادة ِ لوناً *** منْ سَيُرجِعُ لقلبي النبضات ِ ؟؟؟

منْ سَيُرجِعُ لقلبي النبضات ِ ؟؟؟

لو أتنا لم نفترق

فاروق جويدة ... كم أعشق كتاباته .....ء

لو اننا ...لم نفترق

لبقيت نجما في سمائك ساريا

وتركت عمرى في لهيبك يحترق

لو اننى سافرت في قمم السحاب

وعدت نهرا في ربوعك ينطلق

لكنها الاحلام تنثرنا سرابا في المدى

وتظل سرا.. في الجوانح يختنق

لو اننا .. لم نفترق

كانت خطانا في ذهول تبتعد

وتشدنا اشواقنا

فنعود نمسك بالطريق المرتعد

تلقي بنا اللحظات

في صخب الزحام كأننا

جسد تناثر في جسد

جسدان في جسد نسير .. وحولنا

كانت وجوه الناس تجرى كالرياح

فلا نرى منهم احد


مازلت اذكر عندما جاء الرحيل

وصاح في عينى الأرق

وتعثرت أنفاسنا بين الضلوع

وعاد يشطرنا القلق

ورأيت عمرى في يديك

رياح صيف عابث

ورماد أحلام .. وشيئا من ورق

هذا أنا...

عمرى ورق

حلمى ورق

طفل صغير في جحيم الموج

حاصره الغرق

ضوء طريد في عيون الافق

يطويه الشفق

نجم اضاء الكون يوما ... واحترق



لا تسأل العين الحزينه

كيف أدمتها المقل؟!

لا تسأل النجم البعيد

بأي سر قد أفل؟!

مهما توارى الحلم في عينى

وأرقنى الأجل

مازلت ألمح في رماد العمر

شيئا من أمل

فغدا ستنبت في جبين الأفق

نجمات جديده

وغدا ستورق في ليالي الحزن

ايام سعيده

وغدا أراك على المدى

شمسا تضئ ظلام أيامي

وان كانت بعيده

لو اننا لم نفترق

حملتك في ضجر الشوارع فرحتى

والخوف يلقينى على الطرقات

تتمايل الاحلام بين عيوننا

وتغيب في صمت اللقا نبضاتى

والليل سكير يعانق كأسه

ويطوف منتشيا على الحانات

والضوء يسكب في العيون بريقه

ويهيم في خجل على الشرفات

ماكنت اعرف والرحيل يشدنا

انى اودع مهجتى وحياتى

ماكان خوفي من وداع قد مضى

بل كان خوفي من فراق آت

لم يبقى شئ منذ كان وداعنا

غير الجراح تئن في كلماتى

لو اننا ..لم نفترق

فسيكفيكهم الله

قال تعالى في كتابه العزيز " الَّذِينَ قَالَ لَهُمُ النَّاسُ إِنَّ النَّاسَ قَدْ جَمَعُوا لَكُمْ فَاخْشَوْهُمْ فَزَادَهُمْ إِيمَانًا وَقَالُوا حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ .... فَانْقَلَبُوا بِنِعْمَةٍ مِنْ اللَّهِ وَفَضْلٍ لَمْ يَمْسَسْهُمْ سُوءٌ وَاتَّبَعُوا رِضْوَانَ اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ ذُو فَضْلٍ عَظِيمٍ .... إِنَّمَا ذَلِكُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوْلِيَاءَهُ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمْ وَخَافُونِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَ "
[آل عمران:173]

قال -صلى الله عليه وسلم- -: " بدأ الإسلام غريبا، وسيعود غريبا كما بدأ، فطوبى للغرباء. قالوا: يا رسول الله ومن الغرباء؟ قال: الذين يصلحون إذا أفسد الناس "

عن أنس بن مالك رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : "يأتي على الناس زمان القابض على دينه كالقابض على الجمر" رواه الترمذي


اللهم اكفيناهم بما شئت وكيف شئت وأنى شئت إنك على كل شئ قدير


إنا سمعنا أختنا شيئاً عُجاب

قالوا كلاماً لا يسُرُ عن الحجاب

قالوا خياماً علقت فوق الرقاب

قالوا ظلاماً حالكاً بين الثياب

قالوا التأخرُ والتخلفُ في النقاب

قالوا الرشاقة والتطور في غياب

نادوا بتحرير الفتاةِ وألفوا فيه الكتاب

رسموا طريقاً للتبرجِ لا يضيعه الشباب

يا أختنا هم ساقطون إلى الحضيض إلى التراب

يا أختنا هم سافلون بغيهم مثل الكلاب

يا أختنا هذا عواءُ الحاقدين من الذئاب

يا أختنا هذا نباحٌ لا يؤثر في السحاب

يا أختنا صبراً تذوب بحبره كل الصعاب

يا أختنا أنتِ العفيفة والمصونة بالحجاب

يا أختنا فيك العزيمة والنزاهة والثواب

فالنار مثوى الظالمين لهم عقاب

والله يكشف ظلمهم يوم الحساب

والجنة المأوى ويا حسن المآب

A New Year

Dear blogger,
I don't know what made me open u now, but I feel like saying a lot of things, maybe because I feel very helpless this year and my mind is not in focus ( I think it is placed in a blocked queue { the effect of OS :D }) , but as I always tell people to never lose hope, work as best as they could and try my best to spread a smile on their sad faces, why shouldn't I spread one over my own tearful face ???

First of all, if any of u is caring to continue reading now, please secretly pray for me that I understand algorithms and control :) and start studying and that Allah rescues me !!! :D I am very different this year and I really dont know the reason, I stopped asking questions, I stopped concentrating, I stopped understanding, I stopped studying but I never told anyone this as they will all feel that I am just making up a story, but Allah knows :) .... I am always trying and I never lose hope although it is too late but I am always sleepy and non-focused :) الحمد لله

A year has passed, it was one of my worst years in life ( actually my two worst years were 2009 and 2008 ) due to many reasons thanks to AlMighty Allah :) .... However, my faith in Him assures me that this year will be a very new beginning for me :) ... I just wanted to tell people some words, I hope that I could tell them these words face to face, but due to many reasons, this could NEVER happen, so I will just put a symbol for their name ( maybe the beginning letters of their name or any other symbol if their symbols were too obvious ) ....

I would like to thank Allah for placing me in my current position, no matter how hard my life might be, I am sure that there are millions of people who wish to have a life like mine, I really thank You for all Your signs ya Allah , every time I feel useless, I suddenly see a handicapped or a blind person in the street and I cry as I was thinking of the things I don't have and never thought of the blessings I got used to having ... I know that many people might find my words difficult to understand ( as English is their second language ) and that is absolutely why I chose to write using it this time as only those who truly care about me will receive my message ... ;)


I thank my mom for everything she has done, and she has done A LOT, I love her sooooo much although she never feels I do, she is really the best and strongest woman I ever met in my life masha2a Allah and I know that all of u might be saying that their mom is also like that but despite the things my mom had gone through, she proved to be the best person, best mom and best everything, ربنا يخليك ليا يا ماما وفي يوم تحسي بجد أنا بحبك قد إيه، انت اللي علمتيني أرضى بأي حاجة ربنا كتبهالي وكفاية دعاويك ليا اللي مخلياني لسة ليا نفس أتنفس

I would like to deeply thank my dad :) , although I never got to know him properly, but he is also the greatest man I ever met and will ever meet in life :) .. He is the best Ahmad I shall know ( as Egypt is full of Ahmads :D ) ... His actions taught me what it is like to be living for everyone but yourself, I know that he loves me so much although he never showed it as he feels that showing ur love to someone is being week, but trust me, love makes us stronger ... ربنا يحفظك يا أقوى وأروع راجل وأحب راجل لقلبي


I would like to thank my sister soOOOOOo much for being my sister, she was my everything throughout my life, she played the role of a mom, a dad, a sister, a friend, a lover, an EVERYTHING with me and she played all the roles perfectly well ... May Allah give u everything u want, trust me, Allah will reward u for everything u did and will replace all ur past pains with happiness :)
I thank my brother for being caring and protective :-* .... Although I always fight with him :D :P but I think that fights strengthen love :P ....
I miss all four of u soOOOOOOOOo much ...

Eng/Mahmoud Bassiouny : U are the best person we all have met at college and in life in general ... I have never met a person who mentioned ur name without praising u and strongly praying for u ... Everyone wishes that u teach us all the subjects not only because of ur excellent explanation masha2a Allah, but because of ur patience and ur readiness to help everyone and at all times ... We never met anyone with ur excellent manners and great personality .... U were never proud of urself and never made any one feel that he is lower than the others or he is unable of doing certain things .... U really have touched each one of us's life in a certain way and we ( honestly ) will never forget a person like u ... U are a very decent person masha2a Allah Allahu akbar and I really thank Allah for entering this department as I got to meet a fabulous person like u masha2a Allah .... I know that u will not by any chance read this, that is why I am saying everything I really want to say so that no one feels I am exaggerating or complimenting u, a MILLION thanx on EVERYTHING and I hope that u get all the happiness and success this life could give and be one of the successful people at the Day of Judgment and may u face no obstacles whatsoever in all ur life aspects .... ameen, ameen, ameen ....

M.A: U increase my self esteem from time to time and telling me that I remind u of urself and that I am a scaled version of u fills my life with a bright light but it still depresses me that I cant be like u !! :( U have a strong faith in , which no one ever had in me before and u found things in me I dont think others would have found ... Thnx for being there when I need u and thanx for talking to me when u r sad or worried, it really shows that u trust me :)

M.A: U showed me exactly how to fight for a dream and that anything is possible if u set ur mind to it, but I still didnt apply what I learnt from u :( Do u think that it is too late ?? I am about to graduate and many things I wanted flew away and will never ever come back ....

puma: U r the most respectable person I ever met and i dont think that there are similar people in life, I love the way u think and all ur words ... Thanx A LOT for being there for me many times ( even though u never felt that u were beside me, but I felt that u cared for me once, ( I dont know about now :-S ) ... U really taught me that it doesnt matter if u fall once, twice or a million times as long as u can get up again and u really are one of the few people who encouraged me to keep on evaluating myself and to take the step of becoming a better person after I saw the great change that took place in u after u got closer to Allah , masha2aAllah ... ربنا يثبتك يا رب ويحققلك كل اللي نفسك فيه وزيادة ويكتبلك الخير كله ويحفظك من شرور وعيون الناس .... آمين يا رب
U were one of the few good things that happened to me the previous two years and that started from 2008's summer vacation ;) and I hope that it will never end ...

September: I dont know what to say, I just know that u were also one of the very few good things that happened to me the past 2 years .... U taught me exactly what it is like to love someone and want him even if all life circumstances prevent the two of u to be together ... I learnt patience, love and care from u and I am really happy that I knew u ....

rafeeqaty: بحبك وبموت فيك ومش عارفة كان ممكن يحصللي إيه لو معرفتكيش، علمتيني حسن الخلق والتعامل الطيب وحب الناس كلها وغرقتيني بحبك ، بجد ما أتوقعش في حد في الدنيا بعد أهلي بيحبني كدة ... ربنا يجمعنا تحت ظل عرشه

A.S: Really, thank u for knowing me, u are a great friend, support and love ... I am never scared to tell u my worst secrets and seeing u makes me happy ... I love talking to u and standing with u even if we dont talk :) ....

Thanks to all of u, and I hope that u reach the highest levels of success in this life and in the Hereafter and that all ur dreams, hopes and wishes come true :) ameen ya rab ya rab ya rab , u left a great بصمة and بسمة in my life .... :) I ask Almighty Allah to let me continue being with u forever ( although it is absolutely impossible for many of u :(( ) but who knows what might happen in the future ?? Insha2a Allah once I enter paradise, I will ask Allah to see u all :) وساعتها بقة الواحد هيكون قاعد براحته والحاجات اللي نفسه يعملها في الدنيا ومش قادر، ربنا ساعتها هيسمحله يعملها إن شاء الله


I feel that this was the longest post ever, goodbye 2009, I shall throw u and all ur bad memories and experiences in the sea, and shall start a new page and beginning with 2010 and I am sure that Allah will make all my pages and the people I love white :) ...