عروس البحر الأبيض

عروس البحر الأبيض

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Nada Alhamoud : You are my teacher :)


Today is the first day of my life .... 23 years have passed and a new one began ..... Seriously, a new one .... I was in a terrible state yesterday morning due to many reasons ... It was Nada's makeup IT quiz as she did not attend the first 4-5 weeks of college where I explained the chapter and they had a quiz on it .... She came up to me despite all the physical and (probably slight mental) illness in her and gathered her strength to ask me for the quiz ..... "But I haven't explained it for you?" "I studied and tried my best" ,.... I did not want her to feel bad or low so I gave her the paper and stood beside her in case she needs anything ... She said "I don't like people to look at me while I am writing! I become shy" .... She's absolutely right, I totally understand her, she can barely hold any pen in her hand , I left her but sat on the ground far away ensuring she's ok and no one is bothering her ... She called me when she was done .... I checked her quiz paper and to continue the series of surprises she has been supplying me with the previous month, she got a 18/20 !!!!!! My eyes became so teary and my voice shaky but I gathered all the strength and said that I was so proud of her and that she really is one of the best people I ever met in my entire (23) years of living .....

At the beginning, she was taking her quiz inside my staff room on my desk as we did not find an empty classroom, but then the staff room became so noisy and so she asked me to take it outside ... All my colleagues were looking at her with pity and sympathy and I was repeating inside myself "we are the ones that need pity and should be looked at with sympathy!!!" ....

When she first arrived about month back, the way she was walking and talking frightened me as I felt that she'll be a great burden on me trying to explain things to her and re-re-re-re-explain them .... And I went home that day thinking "this is a test from Allah, He wants to teach me how to treat such people and how to be more patient" ... "How could she possibly hold the mouse or a pen? Will I have to write for her her exams and move around the mouse for her ???? I will work with her إن شاء الله  and won't allow her to feel for a second in my lectures that she's inferior ..... "The following lessons and quizzes to my utter amazement, she was participating in class and finishing her work before time while others were lazily wondering what the heck we are taking ....

Two weeks back, they had a mid-term test, many people got lazy marks and her continuous surprises proved me an 18/20 !!! I cried in the staff-room while checking her paper and while writing down the mark .... I kissed and hugged her paper .... The next lecture, I said it out loud in the lecture hall in front of all her colleagues "Nada, you are amazing ! You came more than a month late but succeed in getting what others did not !!" and many words of appreciation and kept on praying for her and gave her a small prize ..... :)  ..... I said "I shall call her "my teacher" from now in in front of her colleagues as she really is teaching me great things day by day .....

Going back to yesterday, when she was done with her quiz and took her mark, I re-entered the staff room to see all my colleagues waiting for me with eyes of sympathy like "poor Fadwa, she had to deal with a person like Nada" .... They kept on asking questions and I replied with "she arrived a month late and from that second and she keeps on amazing me with her strength, courage and ability" and I cried like I have never cried before ....

I ran out of the staff room and cried more and more ..... I felt so little and weak in front of Nada ..... inferior ..... I felt that I did NOTHING useful in the 23 years of life ..... I wanted to pray that Allah cures her, but was scared that if He did, maybe she'll become a "normal" person with no potential and will lose all her iron abilities ... So I prayed that He does what's good for her and that he joins me with her in Janna ... I really wish to stay with her in Janna where she'll be in good shape إن شاء الله .....

This was a part of her practical quiz, I shall keep it as my desktop background for as long as I want to be encouraged ....



خلتني أتولد من جديد بجد
I was feeling that I had done nothing in life but then said "look at her, she did not say I am good for nothing although if I was in her place I would have sat at home and cried day and night over my fate " ..... Thank you Nada Al-Homoud, thank you "my teacher' , your presence in my life made a BIG change which seriously can NOT be described in words ..... The feeling I have is so new and indescribable ....

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Reem Al-Qahtany (my sweetest colleague) came outside to talk to me (as she usually does when I am angry or sad), (she really is a great softhearted person who is so so so good mannered ما شاء الله ) .... and she continued the brightness in my day that Nada started .....
Thank you Reem, may Allah give more than what you wish for .... She's like a light breeze that doesn't force you to talk when you're sad, you find yourself involuntarily talking and you feel great as you don't keep on saying inside of you "now she'll say I am stupid" like you do if you talk to millions of other people ......

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I had the last lecture (from 2:30 pm) which I always HATE as this is the worst group and the worst timing for a lecture (they are already so lazy and the last day of the week, the last lecture, no one feels like explaining or understanding anything) .... I screamed at this group a couple of times as they keep on talking and then ask me to repeat a million times and I can't say "no" .....
I was still touched by my day events and was walking with my head drooped down when all of a sudden a group of 5-6 girls appeared out of nowhere and handed me those flowers !!! walahi I was shocked that something like this comes out from the people I like the least ..... I thanked them (and wanted to cry of happiness) and we entered the lecture hall together ... This lecture, being almost the hardest in the syllabus, I felt that I'll erupt but they surprised me , they were quite, participating with me and they understood and applied everything from the first time without the need for repetition ! They also to my utter amazement thanked me at the end and told me "today's lecture was so easy, thank you teacher" !!!!!


Thank you Nada, Reem and ND group, you made my 23th birthday without any of you knowing it was my birthday and without noticing that you made it ....

Thank you Allah ,  you are so merciful especially when I need your mercy the most :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

23

23 have passed .... Who said that 24 will ever come ??!!
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23 back, everything ended and nothing at all started .... Nothing happy took place from that moment .....
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23 of almost NOThing !!!
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If only she had the choice 23 back ... If only she could do something about it then !!! Would not like 24 to be here .... Nothing nice to wait for , nothing happy to dream of ....
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Funny how 3 comes after 2 in ascending numerical order .... 23 ....
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1. (2 3). 4. 5
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How fast they passed !!! It was 22 a couple of moments back !!! Slow down please !!! Give her time to choose and move on in the proper direction .....
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She doesn't want them to be 24 .... 23 is more than enough .... There's nothing to cry over , no one to miss .....
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Stop counting !!!! 23 .......
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Enslaved ...... 19 were enough ... The remaining 4 brought more confusion ... The confusion is continuing and she is scared .... Why does she think that it's different ??? Enough deceit !!! Just more enslavement and pain ....
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heaven is nice ... 23 is more than enough .... Not ready for more surprizes .....
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23.... She has seen more than enough ... Can't she prevent 24??? What surprizes is 24 carrying and what more pain will she endure ???
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23 ....... will the counting stop ???
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Friday, November 16, 2012

مي مي الغالية :(


مي مي حبيبة قلبي خلاص اتجوزت :( .... "ميمي" و "محمد" :) .... ربنا يسعدهم ويهنيهم يا رب ويكونوا قرة عين لبعض ويبعد عنهم كل سوء .... ربنا
يمتعهم ويقويهم ويكونوا أزواج في الدنيا والآخرة ..... أخد واحدة " مختلفة " ، سبحان الخلاق العليم .... يا رب يكون خير زوج ليها ويفضل هواها على هواه

يعني أنا كل صحابي كدة هيتجوزوا وأنا بعيدة عنهم ؟؟ عااااا ، بس دول مش مجرد صحاب .... دول something special كدة ، وهم 4-5 بس :((

كتبت عن مي مي قبل كدة هنا .... 


وذكرتها كذا مرة في تدوينات مختلفة ... هي فعلا حاجة مختلفة ، تبتسم غصباً عنك لما تفتكرها .... :)
سلفي و سلفية
.... ربنا يرزقهم بالذرية الصالحة .... 

يا رب يفضلوا مع بعض للآخر وفي الجنة كمان :((


أنا فعلاً حزينة أوي إني مش معاها ... قدر الله وما شاء فعل ... :(

Friday, November 2, 2012

فجأة !!!

لا يعرف زماناً ولا مكاناً ولا صغيراً ولا كبيراً ..... لا يعرف فقيراً ولا غنياً ولا طالباً ولا موظفاً .... الطبيب وعامل النظافة عنده سيان ... العربي والأجنبي عنده سواسية ... يأتي فجأة .... 
فجأة .....
فجأة ...
دون مقدمات ...

" كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَمَنْ زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ " -- آل عمران

متاع الغرور ... كلنا اغترينا بيها وسرحنا فيها ونسينا إنها مش مقرنا وإننا هنسيبها قريب أوي .... نسينا إنها ما تساويش ولا تستاهل .... بنزعل عليها وهي مش لينا ....

لسة امبارح ، حدث قريباً من منزلي في الرياض .... 26 حالة وفاة و130 جريح ....





شوفوا النتيجة ؟؟ خراب كامل ، كإنها حرب :((


ومن أهم الكباري في الرياض بقى آيل للسقوط ....


وفي مدينة تانية "بقيق" ، مات 24 و 50 جريح في حريقة في فرح !!! فرح !! يعني الله أعلم كانوا لابسين إيه ولا مشغلين إيه وماتوا على إيه !!! من مات على شئ بعث عليه ...




كل دة في يومين ورا بعض ....

كنت ممكن أكون واحدة منهم .... سبحان من عطاني فرصة تانية :(، رحم الله موتى المسلمين .... ورحمني إذا صرت إلى ما صاروا إليه ....