https://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/tolerating-uncertainty
will often try to plan and prepare for everything as a way of avoiding or eliminating uncertainty.
exposed to a little bit of uncertainty, they have a strong reaction: they worry, and do everything they can think of to get away from, avoid or eliminate the uncertainty.
Seeking excessive reassurance from others: This might be asking friends or family their opinion on a decision that you have to make - me: only the very close ones, now I feel no one is close enough except Ghadeer.
List-making: As a way of eliminating uncertainty, some people will make long and detailed “to do” lists, sometimes several lists every day.
- me: very true, and I double check it and keep on changing the order of things written in it or I totally avoid doing a list as I become uncertain about getting it done and so avoid it.
Double checking: For example, re-reading emails several times to check that they are perfect and that there are no spelling mistakes.
- Me: after avoiding replying to zebouchi for 2 weeks, I kept on rereading and rewriting my reply before sending it.
Refusing to delegate tasks to others: Many people who are intolerant of uncertainty will not allow anyone either at work or at home to do certain tasks; this is because they cannot be “sure” that it will be done correctly unless they do it
- me: when ghadeer came over, I was reluctant to ask her to do anything unless she insisted
Procrastination/avoidance: Because being uncertain can cause anxiety, some people simply procrastinate or avoid people, places or situations. If you do not do something, then you don’t have to feel uncertain about it
- me: check "My IU" note
Distraction: Many people who are intolerant of uncertainty keep themselves “busy” most of the day, that way, they don’t have the time to think about all the uncertainty in life
You probably noticed that all of these behaviours require a lot of time and energy. Needing to be certain about everything can often take the fun out of life, since surprises or unexpected events become something threatening. Also, if you avoid or procrastinate, you might miss out on a lot of good opportunities in life simply because of a dislike of uncertainty.
Solution
So the best way to learn to become more tolerant of uncertainty is to start acting “as if” you are tolerant of uncertainty. That is, you can change your behaviour around uncertainty, and this will eventually help you to change your thoughts and feelings around uncertainty.
will often try to plan and prepare for everything as a way of avoiding or eliminating uncertainty.
exposed to a little bit of uncertainty, they have a strong reaction: they worry, and do everything they can think of to get away from, avoid or eliminate the uncertainty.
Seeking excessive reassurance from others: This might be asking friends or family their opinion on a decision that you have to make - me: only the very close ones, now I feel no one is close enough except Ghadeer.
List-making: As a way of eliminating uncertainty, some people will make long and detailed “to do” lists, sometimes several lists every day.
- me: very true, and I double check it and keep on changing the order of things written in it or I totally avoid doing a list as I become uncertain about getting it done and so avoid it.
Double checking: For example, re-reading emails several times to check that they are perfect and that there are no spelling mistakes.
- Me: after avoiding replying to zebouchi for 2 weeks, I kept on rereading and rewriting my reply before sending it.
Refusing to delegate tasks to others: Many people who are intolerant of uncertainty will not allow anyone either at work or at home to do certain tasks; this is because they cannot be “sure” that it will be done correctly unless they do it
- me: when ghadeer came over, I was reluctant to ask her to do anything unless she insisted
Procrastination/avoidance: Because being uncertain can cause anxiety, some people simply procrastinate or avoid people, places or situations. If you do not do something, then you don’t have to feel uncertain about it
- me: check "My IU" note
Distraction: Many people who are intolerant of uncertainty keep themselves “busy” most of the day, that way, they don’t have the time to think about all the uncertainty in life
You probably noticed that all of these behaviours require a lot of time and energy. Needing to be certain about everything can often take the fun out of life, since surprises or unexpected events become something threatening. Also, if you avoid or procrastinate, you might miss out on a lot of good opportunities in life simply because of a dislike of uncertainty.
Solution
So the best way to learn to become more tolerant of uncertainty is to start acting “as if” you are tolerant of uncertainty. That is, you can change your behaviour around uncertainty, and this will eventually help you to change your thoughts and feelings around uncertainty.
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